A normal message can ruin my whole afternoon

Dear Delyara, Someone sent me a short message today, and I spent nearly two hours wondering if they were upset with me. It was nothing dramatic. No argument. No harsh words. Just a message that sounded slightly different from usual, and suddenly my whole body went into that old familiar state. I read it again and again, looking for tone, hidden meaning, proof of rejection, proof that I had said something wrong and didn’t know it yet. I know how irrational that sounds. That’s what makes anxiety so embarrassing. You know you are not thinking clearly, but the feeling still takes over your body like it owns the place. People think anxiety always looks like panic attacks. Sometimes it just looks like one person in a quiet room reading the same sentence twelve times and feeling physically sick over a possibility that might not even exist. I wish my mind were a less hostile place to live.