Being Dismissed from Work Left Me Feeling Not Only Rejected but Publicly Reduced

Dear Delyara, I was not only losing a job. I was losing an identity that had helped hold me up. That’s what made it so painful. People spoke to me afterward in practical language. Something else will come. Maybe it’s for the best. You’ll move on. Update your CV. Keep looking. That language had its place. It did not touch the real wound. The real wound was the reduction. The feeling of being removed, not just from a payroll, but from a room in which I had tried hard to remain competent, decent, useful, professional. Being dismissed can feel like someone has publicly revised the value of your effort downward in front of your own nervous system. I carried that home in my body. Not just fear about money. Shame. And a bruised sense of self I didn’t know how to explain without sounding too emotional for people who only understood the event in practical terms. It was practical. It was also deeply personal. That is what I’m still living with.