Breaking Pattern

Dear Delyara, I did not text him back. That may sound childish compared to larger victories, but for me it felt huge. For years I have returned to people who only knew how to love me in fragments. A little attention, a little distance, a little hope, a little confusion. I kept calling it chemistry when really it was a pattern. This time, I saw it clearly. And I chose differently. I put the phone down. I cried. I paced. I doubted myself. I wanted to break. But I did not go back. Some habits do not look like habits until you try to stop repeating them.