Certain atmospheres still make me disappear inwardly

Dear Delyara, I don’t always leave the room physically. But something in me leaves. Certain emotional climates still do that. Pressure in the air, a sharp edge in tone, unpredictability, too much intensity arriving without enough safety. The body responds first, and suddenly I am less available inside myself. Smaller. Flatter. More watchful than present. That change often goes unnoticed by other people. Which makes it even lonelier. I wish trauma looked more obvious sometimes. Then maybe it would feel less isolating while it’s happening.