Debt Has Entered My Imagination of the Future

Dear Delyara, Every dream now comes pre-costed. Not just vacations or big things. Even small fantasies. A nicer winter coat. A short trip. A course I want to take. A Saturday where I buy lunch without doing mental subtraction. A room in my house painted the color I actually want instead of the cheaper paint I can justify. Debt has made the future feel smaller before it happens. It has trained me to edit desire at the source. I am not only afraid of bills. I am afraid of becoming the kind of woman who no longer knows what she wants before she knows what she can afford. That feels like a subtler kind of poverty. And a more dangerous one.