Debt has made future softness feel pre-spent

Dear Delyara, It reaches ahead too far. A future easier month, a better purchase, a little comfort, a plan — all of it feels already partly occupied by what is owed. Debt sits in the future before I do. It narrows my relationship to possibility. That is what exhausts me most. Not only the repayment. The colonization of future softness. I want emotional room back. Not only money.