Debt has made wanting feel like a risk in itself

Dear Delyara, Before I ask whether I can afford something, I often ask whether I should even want it. That’s what debt has done. It reaches desire before action. A better future, a softer life, a small comfort, a plan that requires money — all of it gets filtered through caution and guilt before it even becomes a practical decision. Debt has taught my imagination to apologize early. I resent that deeply. I don’t only want freedom from numbers. I want freedom from the atmosphere those numbers have created in me.