Debt has taught me to flinch at future comfort before it exists

Dear Delyara, It is strange how much debt changes time. It doesn’t only take from the present. It enters the future and reduces it in advance. A possible easier month, a small future pleasure, a softer plan — all of it becomes less emotionally available before it has even arrived, because debt is already there first, waiting to claim part of the space. That is what I resent most. Not simply the payment. The preoccupation of possibility. I don’t only want freedom from the debt itself. I want future comfort to stop arriving already half-apologetic.