Debt shrinks me

Dear Delyara, Not only my spending. My emotional size. It makes me cut from myself first. Makes me feel suspicious of comfort. Makes me apologise internally for wanting things before life has even answered. Makes me hear “we need” as if it were a threat. I don’t think people speak honestly enough about how debt colonises the imagination. It teaches you to become smaller before necessity has even fully explained itself. I can feel that training in me now. And I hate it. Because it is not only financial. It is spiritual almost. It alters what feels allowed.