Debt sits in my mind before joy can

Dear Delyara, That is what I resent most. Before I enjoy, I calculate. Before I plan, I calculate. Before I rest, I calculate. Before I say yes to anything that isn’t absolutely essential, debt enters the room first and changes the emotional tone. It is not only a practical burden. It is an imaginative one. It narrows freedom before freedom even gets to feel itself. I am tired of numbers deciding so much about how open life feels from the inside.