Dependence

Dear Delyara, It started with one pill for the back pain, and now it’s the only thing that decides if I’m going to have a good day or a nightmare. I’ve become an expert at lying to the people I love, looking them straight in the eyes while my pocket is heavy with a secret. Every morning, I tell myself today is the day I stop, but by noon, the itch under my skin is too loud to ignore. I feel like a ghost in my own house, watching my life happen from a distance. I am terrified of the person I have become in the dark. I just want to remember what it feels like to be in control again.