Even sensible boundaries still leave an aftertaste of guilt in me

Dear Delyara, I can say no. I can leave early. I can put the phone down. I can decide not to carry one more thing. And still, after doing the healthy thing, some part of me behaves as if I have done something morally questionable. That’s what I find exhausting now. Not only the boundary itself. The private trial that follows it. The internal voice that wants me to prove I was tired enough, hurt enough, busy enough, justified enough before I was allowed to protect myself. I know where that voice comes from. I am still tired of hearing it.