I am angry at the child we adopted

Dear Delyara, Our son is twelve and has been with us for four years. He lies, steals food, breaks things, and sometimes hurts our younger daughter when he thinks we are not watching. I understand trauma. I have read the books, attended training, worked with therapists, and learned that behaviour communicates unmet needs. I know he is not doing this because he is bad. I also know I am angry. Not patient-but-tired angry. Real anger. Last week, he destroyed a wooden box my father made before he died. When I saw the pieces, something in me wanted to scream that he ruins everything he touches. I did not say it. I went outside and sat in the car until my hands stopped shaking. People praise us for giving a child a home. They do not understand that some days I grieve the family I imagined before he arrived, and then I hate myself because he has already lived through adults who could not contain what he needed. My son watches my face constantly for proof that love will end. I am terrified that one day he will see the truth: love is still here, but so is anger, and I do not always know which one is speaking through my body.