I am beginning to resent ordinary life because of what it costs

Dear Delyara, That is a difficult sentence to admit because it makes me sound ungenerous. But I’m not talking about luxury. I’m talking about groceries, shoes, school things, petrol, birthdays, a coffee out, a child growing out of a coat, the washing powder running low at the wrong time, one decent bra that doesn’t hurt, one lunch bought in a rush because there wasn’t time to pack one. It’s the ordinariness that gets to me. Money pressure has started turning normal life into a series of small emotional confrontations. Every practical need arrives with calculation attached. Every choice has a shadow behind it. I’m tired of the quiet internal narrowing that happens in me every time life costs exactly what life naturally costs. I don’t think the hardest part of financial stress is lack. I think it is what repeated financial pressure does to dignity, generosity, and emotional ease over time. I can feel it changing me. That frightens me.