I Am Easier to Need Than to Know

Dear Delyara, People know exactly how to need me. They know what I’m good for — calming, remembering, organizing, translating, soothing, softening, helping. They come to me with the right expectation because I have taught them so well what version of me is always available. But being known? That’s something else. Being known would mean someone noticing the flatter tone, the delayed reply, the strange quiet, the way my face changes after 8 p.m., the fact that I say “I’m tired” when what I mean is “I am disappearing under the weight of my own life.” Need is easy. Knowing is expensive. I think that’s why so few people really do it.