I am exhausted by how many futures I keep rehearsing before breakfast

Dear Delyara, That’s one of the things people don’t see about anxiety. It is not always visible panic, or shaking, or a dramatic spiral that other people would recognize and tell you to sit down through. Sometimes it is private labour before the day has even properly started. I wake up and my mind is already there, ahead of me, running scenarios. What if the meeting goes badly? What if I say the wrong thing? What if I forgot something? What if the school calls? What if the bank app shows something I can’t carry today? What if this tiredness is actually something bigger? What if, what if, what if. By the time I’ve made tea, I have emotionally visited four possible disasters and built rough plans for surviving each one. No wonder ordinary life feels expensive some days. I am spending half my energy in imaginary rooms before I’ve even opened the curtains fully. I wish my mind believed the day deserved a fair trial before it was sentenced.