I am good at enduring work that does not always feel alive

Dear Delyara, There is a difference between competence and vitality. I am starting to feel that more strongly. I know how to work hard, adapt, deliver, remain composed, carry pressure. But some of that ability has made it harder to see when I am no longer alive enough inside what I’m doing. Endurance can hide deadness very effectively. That realization has made me uneasy. Because it asks a harder question than whether I’m coping. It asks whether I’m lit from the inside. And not every day, I am.