Singapore

I am good at the job that has made me someone I do not like

Dear Delyara, I manage layoffs for a large company. I am very good at it. I prepare scripts, coordinate security, make sure final payments are correct, train managers not to say legally dangerous things. My career progressed because I remain calm when other people become emotional. Last week, I sat across from a woman who had worked here twenty-two years while her manager told her the role was gone. She began crying and asked me whether I had children. I said yes. She said, “Then you know what this does to a family.” I did know. I also continued through the checklist. Badge. Laptop. Benefits. Support number. Afterward, my boss praised how professionally I handled a difficult exit. I went into the toilet and looked at myself for a long time. I am not personally deciding who loses jobs. That is the explanation I use. But I have built a career around becoming efficient at the worst workday in other people’s lives. My salary pays my mortgage and my children’s school fees. I do not know when competence became something I was ashamed to be thanked for.