I am losing my hearing and have stopped telling people when I miss words

Dear Delyara, I am forty-one and gradually losing hearing for reasons the doctors still cannot fully explain. In quiet rooms, I manage. In restaurants, offices, school concerts, I lose whole pieces of conversation. I have started pretending. I smile when others smile. I say “yeah” when I am not sure what I agreed with. Last week, my daughter told me something important in the car while the windows were open. I answered, “That’s great.” She went quiet. Later, my wife told me our daughter had said she was being bullied. I had congratulated her. I went into the bathroom and shut the door. My daughter says she knows I did not hear. That almost makes it worse. She is learning to interpret my mistakes generously while I keep hiding the problem because hearing aids feel like an admission I am not ready for. My father lost his hearing too and spent years isolated in rooms full of people. I used to become impatient with him. Now I understand how easy it is to choose pretending over asking everyone to repeat themselves for the rest of your life.