I am scared of ordinary life

Dear Delyara, Money pressure has made ordinary life feel threatening to me in too many places. It has taught my body to flinch at normal needs before they are even fully named. That changes the emotional meaning of a whole household. I hate the woman it pulls out of me. The quicker no. The edge in the voice. The private panic in front of fruit and petrol and school letters. This is not just about bills anymore. It is about what bills have done to my nervous system.