I Am the Buffer

Dear Delyara, I buffer moods. Buffer tension. Buffer disappointment. Buffer hunger, lateness, stress, and tone. I translate one person to another before they collide too hard. I soften. I absorb. I redirect. I keep the emotional weather from becoming a storm whenever I can. And because I do it so often, people experience it as atmosphere instead of labour. But my body knows. My body knows what it costs to be the buffer in a family with no obvious buffer for yourself. Some days I think that invisible buffering is more exhausting than all the visible tasks put together. At least tasks end. Other people’s weather does not.