I am tired of being the emotionally strong one in every friendship

Dear Delyara, People tell me everything. Their sadness, their panic, their confusion, their marriage trouble, their money fear, their family hurt, their spirals, their doubts, their humiliations. I listen well. I hold things carefully. I say thoughtful things. I stay calm. That has become my role in too many friendships. And lately, I leave those conversations feeling emptied out. Not because I don’t care. Because I’m starting to realise how little room there is for me to be messy in return without first apologising for it or converting it into something easier for other people to absorb. I have become useful in my friendships in the same way I’ve become useful in my family — emotionally dependable, practically available, quietly carrying more than anyone quite notices. I am tired of strength being the identity other people love most in me. It has become another way to be lonely.