I am tired of being the patient

Dear Delyara, People try to make illness sound noble because it is easier for them that way. They call you brave. Strong. Resilient. Inspiring. They speak in a voice that suggests there is some dignity in being forced into a smaller life by your own body. Some days maybe there is. Most days it just feels humiliating and exhausting. I am tired of recovery being my identity. Tired of appointments. Tired of measuring energy. Tired of everyone asking if I’m “better” as if that is a simple yes or no. Tired of making plans around a body that no longer feels like solid ground. I don’t feel inspiring. I feel cheated. That is the truth I rarely say out loud.