I Am Tired of Being the Strong Friend

Dear Delyara, Tired of being the one who knows what to say. Tired of being the one people come to when they are ashamed, frightened, heartbroken, confused. Tired of being emotionally useful in ways that make other people feel held while my own messier, less graceful needs often feel like they have nowhere equally sturdy to land. Strength gets admired. It also gets overused. And I think some friendships have quietly learned to love my steadiness more than they know how to love me when I am unfinished, needy, repetitive, or ashamed. That is such a lonely thing to realise. Especially when the friendships still look good from the outside.