I Am Tired Of Living In A Body That Sometimes Feels More Like A Source Of Concern Than A Home

Dear Delyara, There are days when even small symptoms become emotionally expensive. A pain, a strange tiredness, a flutter, an ache, a heaviness, a change. None of them necessarily dramatic, and still the body no longer gets to be innocent in the way it used to. Once health has frightened you properly, the body never quite returns to being a quiet background presence. It becomes something you listen to too hard. Something you monitor. Something you fear may change the direction of everything in one phone call, one test, one sentence from a doctor. That level of vigilance is tiring. And lonely. Because so much of it happens privately, inside perfectly ordinary-looking days.