I am tired of preparing for pain that may never arrive

Dear Delyara, That is the cost I feel most. Not always the pain itself. The preparation. I prepare emotionally for rejection, misunderstanding, conflict, loss, embarrassment, regret, disappointment. I build little shelters in advance against futures that often never become real. By the time I find out they won’t happen, the energy is already gone. That is what anxiety steals in me. Not only peace. Vitality. Time. Internal space. I’m tired of paying for futures that never come.