I am tired of translating myself

Dear Delyara, That is one of the deepest tirednesses in me right now. Translating my sadness into acceptable language. Translating my boundaries into tones people won’t resent. Translating disappointment into calm enough phrasing. Translating exhaustion into something more respectable than “I can’t.” I think some of my loneliness comes from how much of me has to pass through translation before it can enter the world. No wonder I feel distant from myself by evening.