I apologize even when no one asked me to

Dear Delyara, I say sorry too much. Out loud sometimes, but even more in my head. Sorry for being late. Sorry for being tired. Sorry for not replying. Sorry for asking. Sorry for changing my mind. Sorry for not wanting to go. Sorry for not being easier. Sorry for not being more grateful. Sorry for taking up emotional room. I think constant guilt becomes a second language if you live with it long enough. You stop noticing how much of your personality is shaped around preemptive apology. I would like to know who I am without so much internal bowing.