I ate something sweet because I didn’t know what else to give myself

Dear Delyara, It wasn’t hunger. Not exactly. It was the wish to soften something. To interrupt the day with one small pleasure that didn’t require too much effort, too much choice, too much emotional coherence. So I reached for sweetness. I’m trying not to judge that too harshly. Some forms of care are clumsy, but still reaching toward care. Tonight I didn’t need discipline. I needed a signal that the day was allowed to contain one gentle thing. Sugar was the quickest available language.