I baked a cake nobody needed and remembered I am still a person with desires

Dear Delyara, That is exactly what it felt like. Not baking for school. Not baking for guests. Not baking because it was efficient or expected or someone else’s celebration required it. Just baking because I wanted the smell in the house, the feel of mixing something, the softness of choosing pleasure without having to defend it first. That turned out to be far more emotional than I expected. Because when life becomes too built around necessity, desire starts shrinking from lack of use. I had forgotten what it feels like to do something simply because it feeds the spirit and not because it keeps the structure of family life functioning. The cake was not the point. The wanting was.