I Baked Something No One Had Asked For

Dear Delyara, No school event. No visitors. No birthday. No practical reason. I just wanted the smell, the warmth, the making, the feel of doing something that belonged to desire rather than necessity. And in the middle of mixing butter and sugar, I felt how hungry I am for pointless joy. Not empty joy. Pointless in the best way — not to earn, not to serve, not to prevent, not to manage, not to keep a system running. Just to make. I think that is what has been missing more than I knew. Not only rest. Desire without defence. That cake gave me that for an hour. I needed it much more than the house needed cake.