I become colder when I feel least safe to show anger

Dear Delyara, That pattern is so familiar now that I almost miss it while it’s happening. When anger doesn’t feel safe to express openly, it doesn’t disappear. It changes form. I get controlled. Shorter. Flatter. More distant. More polite in a way that is really withdrawal wearing a pressed shirt. People often respect that version of me more. Which is ironic. Because she is not peaceful. She is angry and hiding it successfully. I don’t know if that makes me strong or sad. Probably both.