I become older and younger there at the same time

Dear Delyara, Family has a way of making me feel older and younger at once. Older because I can see the patterns now. Younger because my body still reacts to them before my mind has finished naming them. I become careful there. I become the version of myself that learned to watch the room before speaking. That is tiring in a way people outside the family system rarely understand. Love is there. History is louder.