I boarded the plane after avoiding flying for fifteen years

Dear Delyara, I developed severe flying anxiety after experiencing violent turbulence on a flight in my twenties. For fifteen years, I travelled by train, missed weddings abroad, and declined work opportunities rather than admit I was afraid. When my daughter moved overseas and became pregnant, I decided I wanted more choices than fear allowed. I joined a fear-of-flying course, learned what turbulence actually means, practiced in a simulator, and worked with a therapist on panic symptoms. Yesterday, I boarded a four-hour flight to meet my granddaughter. My hands shook during takeoff. When turbulence began an hour later, I cried quietly and used the breathing and grounding exercises we had practiced. I did not enjoy it. I did not become someone who loves flying. I stayed in the seat until the aircraft landed. My daughter was waiting beyond arrivals holding a baby I had only seen on a screen. When she put my granddaughter into my arms, the flight became four frightening hours instead of fifteen more years of absence.