I Bought the Better Shampoo

Dear Delyara, I know how small that sounds. But I stood there in the aisle with the cheap bottle in one hand and the one I actually wanted in the other, and I could feel the old script starting up immediately: be practical, don’t waste money on yourself, your hair is fine, use the cheaper one, save the difference, everyone needs things. Then I looked at my cart. Diapers. Snacks. Toothpaste. Lunch meat. Dishwasher pods. Three different things for everybody else. And I thought, I am so used to being the easiest place to cut. So I bought the better shampoo. That night, standing under hot water with that smell in my hair, I felt unexpectedly emotional. Not because of shampoo. Because of how long I have quietly taught myself that comfort becomes selfish the second it belongs only to me. I’m trying to unlearn that.