I build too many futures in the absence of one answer

Dear Delyara, That is what not-knowing does to me. It multiplies futures. Too many of them. And none of them particularly kind. I don’t rest inside uncertainty. I construct around it. Possibilities, losses, conversations, explanations, preparations. The mind starts making emotional architecture around something that hasn’t even happened yet. By the time reality catches up, I am already tired from all the imagined living I’ve done in advance. That makes uncertainty feel less like openness and more like labor.