I buy scratch cards with the money I save by skipping lunch

Dear Delyara, I buy scratch cards every day. Five pounds, ten, sometimes twenty. I do not call it gambling because there are no casinos, no betting apps, no dramatic losses. Just little cards from the shop near work. I have started skipping lunch to afford them without my husband noticing money missing. I tell colleagues I am doing intermittent fasting. Yesterday, I spent twelve pounds and won two. I bought another card with the two. Lost. The strange part is not even expecting to become rich anymore. I crave the thirty seconds before scratching the final box, when the day might become different. Then it is not. At home, my daughter complained there were no snacks. I almost said money was tight. We are not poor. I had spent the snack money scraping silver coating into a bin behind the shop. My husband thinks I stopped gambling years ago because my old problem was online betting. I think I believed that too. Addiction has apparently learned to hide inside something sold beside milk.