I calculate the cost of visiting my dying father

Dear Delyara, My father is dying in the Philippines. I live in Canada. Flights are expensive, I have no paid leave left, and missing two weeks of work may put us behind on rent. I have opened the airline page twelve times today. Every time I see the price, I close it and hate myself. My sister sends updates from his bedside. Dad sometimes asks whether I am coming. She tells him I am trying. I am trying to calculate whether goodbye is financially possible. My husband says we can put the flight on a credit card. We already carry debt. My daughter needs braces. The car needs repairs. I keep thinking about everything Father spent on me when I was young. School shoes, bus fares, textbooks, money he did not have. He never asked whether loving me fit into a monthly budget. Now I am doing exactly that with him. If I go, I may create months of financial strain. If I stay, there may never be another chance to touch his hand. I used to think money problems meant not being able to buy things. I did not understand they could eventually ask you to place a price beside one final visit to your father.