I can feel poor in places where nobody knows me

Dear Delyara, I can stand in a nice shop, or hear people talk casually about spending, or smile through a conversation about plans I know I couldn’t currently afford, and inside I feel this private tightening that has nothing to do with appearances and everything to do with what I am subtracting in my head. Put that back. Not this month. Don’t even think about that. Be sensible. The children first. You can wait. No one hears that voice. That’s what makes it so lonely. Because from the outside I may look ordinary. Inside, I am budgeting at the level of self-worth.