I can feel poor in rooms where nobody knows my numbers

Dear Delyara, You can look perfectly fine while internally subtracting. At the shop. In conversation. When someone mentions booking something, buying something, “just sorting it,” or replacing something ordinary without flinching. I smile and nod and meanwhile I am doing private arithmetic around what can wait, what I can deny myself, and whether I can afford the emotional cost of wanting anything at all this week. No one sees that. That makes it worse. Because hidden poverty of spirit grows well in silence, especially when it isn’t absolute lack, just constant tightening.