I Can Keep Going Efficiently Without Knowing Whether I Still Believe in the Direction I’m Going

Dear Delyara, That frightens me. Not because I’m doing nothing. Because I’m doing so much. Work. Parenting. Admin. Money. Chores. Appointments. Maintenance. Normal life. I can keep all of that moving. But movement is not the same as direction. And lately I keep asking myself whether I am still living toward something or simply maintaining a structure that has grown more demanding than meaningful. I don’t think I am lost in a dramatic way. I think I am drifting competently. That is a more dangerous kind of lost. Because competence hides it. And by the time you feel how far you’ve drifted, years may already have passed in perfectly reasonable handwriting.