I can still feel myself becoming smaller around disappointment in the family

Dear Delyara, Not only anger. Disappointment. That tone does something to me. It makes me explain too fast, question my own side too quickly, shrink the scale of what I’m feeling, and move almost immediately into repair mode before I’ve even checked whether I actually agree with the disappointment in the room. That’s old, I know. And still very active. Sometimes family doesn’t wound through obvious cruelty. Sometimes it wounds through how fast it can reactivate your oldest habits of becoming less than yourself in order to keep the room stable.