I can still mistake silence for danger too quickly

Dear Delyara, An unanswered message. A delayed reply. A pause after I say something vulnerable. Someone sounding slightly different than usual. I know these things are not automatically bad. I know adults get busy, tired, distracted, full, complicated. Still, my body can move toward alarm before reality has even had a chance to explain itself. It is astonishing how fast uncertainty can feel physical when you’ve spent enough years bracing for what might be wrong. I wish I trusted absence more. Or at least feared it less. As it is, silence still enters my system with too much authority.