I Can Still Run a Life I No Longer Feel Inside

Dear Delyara, I can still do all of it. I can plan the week, make the calls, show up, remember things, carry things, soothe things, handle the practical and the emotional and the repetitive with such competence that even I can be fooled into thinking movement equals meaning. But some days I look at the life I’m managing and feel like I’m house-sitting for a woman I used to know. Everything is functioning. I am not sure I am. That’s a scary truth because it means you can drift for a very long time while everyone, including you, keeps calling it adulthood. I am trying not to disappear under that name.