I Can’t Tell What’s Real

Dear Delyara, My tiredness is real. My fear is real. My intuition may be real. My sadness is real. My stress is real. My old wounds are real too. So when a new feeling comes — a bad feeling about work, a pain in my body, a distance in my marriage, a sudden need to change everything — I no longer know how to tell what belongs to this moment and what belongs to all the other unhealed things already living inside me. I doubt myself too fast. That is the damage. Everything gets cross-examined. By the time I’ve finished trying to identify the emotion, I’m too tired to trust it properly anyway. That is a lonely way to live inside your own mind.