I cancelled the thing I didn’t have energy for

Dear Delyara, And I did it before I hated everyone involved. That is progress for me. Usually I wait too long. I keep the plan, push through, act normal, and then spend the whole thing feeling resentful, overstimulated, and ashamed of how badly I’m performing enjoyment. This time I noticed early enough that I had nothing left and did something kinder. I cancelled. Of course guilt arrived. It always does. But underneath the guilt there was something else too — relief, and a small clean respect for myself that I recognised immediately. I don’t want to keep earning rest only after I’ve completely emptied myself for other people’s comfort.