I cannot tell whether he is cruel or I am too sensitive

Dear Delyara, My boyfriend rarely insults me directly. He jokes. He says I misunderstand. He corrects details until I am no longer sure what happened. If I tell him something hurt, he asks why I am always looking for reasons to be offended. Then he becomes gentle, cooks dinner, and tells me no one else understands me the way he does. My friends dislike him, but I have stopped telling them about our arguments because their concern makes me defensive. Last week, he read my messages while I was asleep and said he had a right to know whether people were turning me against him. I apologized for making him insecure. Later, I wondered why I was the one apologizing. I keep lists of conversations in my notes app so I can remember exactly what was said, but when I read them later, I hear his voice explaining why my interpretation is wrong. I do not know whether I am being controlled or whether I have become suspicious and difficult. The confusion is now so constant that I trust his version of me more than my own.