I check the electricity meter before boiling water

Dear Delyara, Our electricity meter is prepaid, and I know the exact cost of making tea. I know how much the balance drops when the oven heats, when the washing machine runs, when my daughter dries her hair before school. I have begun checking the meter before every ordinary act, as if comfort requires permission from a number glowing red in the cupboard. Last night, the balance reached £1.83. My son asked for a bath because he was cold. I heated enough water for him and washed myself afterward with what remained in the tub. The children think we are saving energy for the environment. I told them that because poverty sounds less frightening when disguised as responsibility. Payday is Friday. Until then, I am charging my phone at work and keeping the fridge colder than necessary so I can turn it off for several hours overnight. I am not afraid of darkness. I am afraid of the small clicking sound the meter makes when it decides our home has used more warmth than we can afford.