I chose the ending and still grieved like I was abandoned

Dear Delyara, That confused me for a long time. I made the decision. I knew why I made it. I knew staying was costing me too much. And still, when it ended, I grieved in a way that felt almost like I had been the one left behind. I think people underestimate how deeply endings affect the body, even when the mind knows they were necessary. Routine disappears. Identity shifts. The ordinary shape of being expected by another person vanishes. Choice did not protect me from grief. It only made the grief harder to explain.