I delayed going to bed because tomorrow feels too near

Dear Delyara, I know this pattern in myself now. I get tired enough to sleep, but instead of going to bed, I delay. Not because I’m enjoying the night. Because sleep feels like agreement to wake up and start the whole thing again before I feel emotionally ready. Tomorrow isn’t even terrible. That’s what makes it difficult to explain. It’s just another day that will ask for functioning, attention, decisions, steadiness, and social energy. And tonight I don’t feel finished with today, let alone ready for the next version of myself tomorrow will require. So I stayed up longer than I should have. Again.